Tuesday 2nd August
Originally, a tailwind ride across chalkland bridleways, but following a wasp sting to the forehead of one of our party, we switched to back-up mode. We left The Elephant Man and partner in Devizes to seek out NHS assistance, and hightailed it on a headwind tarmac route to Axminster to fetch the van.
Taking the busy A360, we track S through Pottern, then SW onto B roads through Marston, Coulston and Bratton, and past the Westbury White Horse; grooming crew at work.
Wiltshire boasts a herd of white horses, eight in total. There’s an enticing White Horse cycle route for another trip…We chuff S uphill on a nasty A350 through Warminster , and on to Crockerton, then quieter roads past Shear Water (with a blissful-looking lakeside tea shop). The route improves further through
Maiden Bradley, and a lovely descent into North Brewham, then Bruton. I’m hopeful for a cafe stop, but we’re time pressed, so I sulk, on a spot of gum-free tarmac outside a Texaco, with a Starbucks and flapjack.
Refreshed, we pick up the baton again and plough through Wyke Champflower, Keinton Mandeville, and Summerton. In South Petherton, my partner required immediate calorie intake, and we again huddle down on the tarmac for energy infusion, this time next to some temporary traffic lights.
Not all of the route is grim, we ride some beautiful back roads, inc. the Foss Way (an old Roman road). But SatNav algorithms are directing vehicles off the A roads to save precious minutes, these cars and trucks squeeze past us with terrifying gung-ho joy.
Showers hit both us, and the many signs we pass, advertising soon-to-be-cancelled, summer fun; soggy tombola stands, sodden Morris dancer handkerchiefs, and muddy tug ‘o war bottoms.
A long descent on busy A roads takes us into Axminster, and our van. We double back to Devizes to collect Mr Gorgonhead and partner, and head over to Goring-on-Thames and the lovely In-laws, hopefully in time for G&Ts.
Note on wasps:
Towards the end of summer, the near-exhausted Queen wasp (she’s laid 1000s of eggs over the summer) lays a few eggs that develop into fertile females that will become new queens, and males. The males live for just a few days, dying after mating. The mated queens fly away to hibernate through the winter, and the old queen dies. The worker wasps, all female, are no longer under the hormonal control of the queen. These mad, menopausal wasps party their remaining days away like a nightmare hen party. They guzzle rotten fruit, swear, wear inappropriate clothing, and get into fights. If you cycle into one of them, they will take you on Big Time. Carry antihistamines, and take them asap post sting. Don’t forget to remove any rings/jewellery too in case swelling gets bad.